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I’ll be the first to admit it, I never thought I would be a mother.  I didn’t think I was cut out for the job.  I have zero patience, I’m foul mouthed, and I don’t like people making demands of me.

Well, life happened, and I am a Mom now.  It’s been filled with so much joy, but man,  I was delusional when I thought it was gonna be an easy year off work.  You know, I had visions of cooking and knitting and crafting, and endless hours of Mommyblogging.  You know, when the baby takes his 2 hour naps every hour or so, newborn babies sleep all the time, don’t you know????  There were a couple of times were I thought I was going to completely lose my shit – unless hiding under a blanket in my bed while my baby is lying beside me crying and refusing to sleep constitutes losing my shit, well, then I am guilty with a capital “G”.

Well, baby B is about 11 weeks old now, and we are finally getting adjusted.  There were a few things that helped me along the way, and helped me keep what little sanity I had left.

  1. Depends – Yes, the adult diapers.  Not because I was peeing and pooping on myself, but post-partum bleeding SUCKS and is very heavy for the first little while after.  Rather than destroying endless pairs of underwear and going through feminine hygiene products like they are going out of style, I got me an ice pack, a package of heavy duty menstrual napkins and some Depends.  Trust me, it’s worth it.
  2. My iPhone – My iPhone let me surf the internet late through the night when all baby wanted to do was cluster feed and engage in a full on sleep rebellion.  Which brings me to point number 3.
  3. Twitter – Twitter helped me connect to other moms experiencing the EXACT same thing I was, at the same time.  Just being able to talk to someone in the middle of the night who GOT IT, made those first rough weeks that much easier.  The #breastfeeding hash tag, is your friend.
  4. Twin Peaks – The first two weeks, baby and I watched the entire Twin Peaks series.  I didn’t feel like moving much with my stitches and all, and all baby wanted to do was eat.
  5. My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow – Saved my back.  I bought this three weeks in.  It killed me to spend that much money on a nursing pillow, but it was waaaay worth it. I was using a tiny little Peanut cushion by Jolly Jumper, and it was just too small.  The flat surface and back support made it so much more bearable for endless hours of nursing.

It’s funny.  When people say the first six weeks are tough, they aren’t kidding.  B hit six weeks here, and it was like a switch was hit.  Though, we seem to be hitting a growth spurt I believe, because the going is getting a bit tough again. But I’ll survive.  Thanks to my iPhone and my Twitter Tweeps.  I gave up the Depends for the Granny Panties.


Happy New Year!  I hope 2010 is a good year for you all.  Party Bear wishes you a good year as well!

Man, I really need to get better at this blog thing.  I don’t know how you people with kids find the time to update, I can barely get on the computer with little B.  I can see my future blogs being all about baby poo, lack of sleep and boobies.  He’s happily kicking away right now, so hopefully I will get a decent post in.

Life is going pretty good, adjusting to life with baby well.  It’s so fun to watch him figure stuff out, he’s been smiling huge for days now, just waiting for him to giggle outloud.  He keeps making little cough, grunt and squeak noises .

After we got past the hell stage that is known as the first six weeks, we finally got into a bit a of a decent routine.  He would sleep four hours in his crib, and then halfway through the night when he would wake up, we would co-sleep.  But then he caught my cold, and now is back to refusing to sleep anywhere unless I am lying down with him on the couch, and nursing him to sleep.  He’s back to not napping during the day, which is kind of frustrating, since I feel like I can get nothing done, but on the upside, he tends to be a bit more active when he’s a awake now, kicking and playing instead of crying and nursing, so SOMETIMES he will let me get dinner ready.

Christmas was pretty awesome, I must say.  I am looking forward when he is big enough to actually enjoy it. I’m sure he will require some kind of therapy for the humiliation I have put him through this year:

Ok, I better go, he is starting to fuss, and I might be pushing my luck if I try to post any longer.  I hope to get some more stuff of substance on here soon!

I have been meaning to write this for sometime, but I never realized how difficult it would be to actually get to the computer for more than five seconds at a time!  I was delusional thinking all a baby does is nap when it comes home..HAHAHAHAHAH.  After many sleepless nights and days, I have learned this to not be true.  Hence, the delayed post.  Anyway, here is how little Benji came to be into our world.

It’s Friday, October 22.  I am very preggo, very uncomfortable and very bored.  I have been off work for two weeks.  So, I decide I am going to make some butternut apple squash soup for dinner.  I go to the grocery store, pick up the supplies and come home and start making dinner.

Around 9:30 pm I felt what I thought was a contraction.  I texted my husband, who was still at work.  He got home around 10:30pm, and I kept getting a weird pain every so often while I was cooking.   I told my husband to go have a nap, because I thought it was gonna be a looooooooooooooooong night.  It was a full moon, and I had a funny feeling.  So, he goes to nap, I go on the computer to distract myself with Farmville, until about 12:30 things start getting really intense and I call my midwife.  The contractions were about 6 – 7 mins apart, but getting pretty intense.  She said I needed to be about 3 -4 mins apart before I went to the hospital, so she said to call back in about an hour or two and let her know where I was at.  Well, in the next two hours, things got INTENSE and I thought I was going to die.  I called the midwife at 2:30am, hysterical and shrieking like a banshee.  She tells me she just got off the phone with the hospital by my house, and they have denied us admission because they are “full” (turns out later we find out three midwife clients were turned away that same night but other people weren’t, that’s another story) so I had to go to the hospital in another city which was about 31 km/20 miles away.

Hubby has a quick shower and makes some coffee, his mom comes over, and we get in the car.  WORST CAR RIDE EVER.  I have never experienced so much pain in my life and I felt suffocated in the front seat of the car, I was clawing the windows, and I one point I almost opened the car door going to the highway at 60 mph, wanting to fling myself out.  I screamed like a psychopath the entire way.  We get to the hospital around 3:30 – 4am, the midwife greets us, and asks me how I am.  I say, “ok I guess” and fall to my hands and knees and start vomiting like crazy.  They help me to a delivery room, she checks me and says…You are fully dilated.

So, I get to the bed, sit up, and the need to push is so unbearable, so we start at it.  The sac is holding him back, so she breaks the sac once the other midwife gets there, probably around 4:30 or so.  He was born at 6:03 am.  Man, once I got the hang of pushing it all went so fast.  It seemed like forever at the time, but in reality, I was still playing facebook at home at 1:30 am, and  had my baby in another city at 6am.

It was insane.  The strangest thing was to see his head poked out between my legs, the minutes before his body came out.  One good push and he slid out like a little worm.  But, the head wasn’t so easy.  I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it.   I am so proud of myself, I did it the way I wanted to – no epidural, no induction, no drugs.  Completely natural.   I tried I couple hits of laughing gas, but I couldn’t stand the mask on my face so I went without.  Though, I sucked that gas back like it was candy for 10 stitches or so.

It was pretty amazing overall, a day I will NEVER forget.

Benjamin, seconds old

I have just been the Queen of Slack while updating my blog.  Still preggo, baby is due in six days.

I must admit, I don’t think I am one of those people who enjoy being pregnant.  It has been very long, difficult and uncomfortable for me.  It will pay off in the end though.  So, with no further delay, I shall recap the last few months in pictures.  Primarily about the baby. LOL.


So, at 29 weeks I broke out into a huge pregnancy rash, called PUPPS. It was absolutely terrible. Covered my legs, upper arms, back, stomach and buttocks. I have scars.



My stomach used to be creamy white and flat. This is the result of PUPPPs and stretchmarks from Hell. I look like I have been in a fight with a band of angry, rabid squirrels.



We are planning to cloth diaper. This is our CD stash to date.



Here is our Nursery Set.



The almost finished Nursery. Still some blinds to hang and a shelving unit on the other wall, plus some small decorative things.



Me, at 38 weeks pregnant - Thanksgiving Monday, October 11, 2010. The face is because it is very uncomfortable to stand, let alone breath or be alive at this point.


There, I am feeling less guilty now for the lack of posts.  This week I took a week of holidays, and my maternity leave officially begins next Monday.  I hope the baby comes soon.  At least if the baby comes late,  I have tickets to see Tom Green live on the 25th, so if he isn’t gonna come early, here’s hoping he waits it out just a bit longer.  I’ve seen Freddie Got Fingered and I have no desire to re-enact the birthing scene from that movie.

Woah, it appears WordPress has changed their log in screen, because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to make a new post.  But, after much fumbling, ah – ha! I figured it out.

This weekend was full of much productivity.  First, I got this:

So, this weekend Mr. Trashy and I decide we are going to upgrade my cell phone, give him my Blackberry and put us both on a joint family plan with our cellphones.    We were waiting in line to talk to the sales reps.  They had a sign on the door saying they had no iPhones, but,  I wasn’t  too concerned, as I needed a phone today, and it just made my decision easier. If I can’t get it, then I’ll just settle for something else.  The iPhone is next to impossible to get right now in this city.

So, while I am waiting in line, this girl basically pushes her way in front of me and cuts in front of me in line.  The sales people noticed.  She interrupts the sales clerk helping a lady at the counter getting her account set up and asks about the iPhone.  He lets her look at abox then takes it away and tells her that me and Mr. Trashy are next, and he will be with her after he helps us.

So, we get to the counter, turns out I am not eligible to upgrade to the android phone I originally wanted, but they have a special promo to upgrade to the iPhone 4.  He tells me they have one iPhone they can give to me, but not til 6pm as it is on hold for someone until then, however, they don’t think he is going to make it as it’s 4:30 now.  It’s basically the last iPhone left for sale in the city.  So, since the pushy bitch behind me essentially pushed me out of the way to get to the counter and cut me off in line, I said , “Sure, I’ll take it.”   MUAHAHAH.  Next time, don’t push a pregnant lady bitch, I wasn’t even gonna GET the iPhone, but because you were rude to me, and wanted it, I TOOK IT FROM YOU.  HAHAHAHA.

And I am glad I did. Because this is one kick ass phone.   I have had a couple dropped calls with the antenna issue, however, Apple is sending me a free case which should remedy this problem.  I love this phone.

But, this weekend is more than just iPhones…..the construction of the baby nursery is pretty much finished!  All we have left to do is trim up around the window, and install a new bedroom door, and it’s done.

Here is a before:

Superman's Nightmare

Here is the after:

Ahhh. Much better.

Here is one more with the crib and dresser set we purchased:

Much, much happier.

I am so proud of Mr. Trashy, he did the whole room pretty much by himself.  Drywall, painting, new window, new light fixture. He had some help from his Dad with the window and light, but the rest is pretty much all him.  I am so happy with it.  Now, to trim the window and get a new door, and then rest is all the fun decorating stuff.  I’ve found some great stuff on Etsy I can’t wait to order.

2010 is turning out to be a pretty awesome year for me.  Now only if this damn belly would stop itching.

On the weekend, I went for a 3D Ultrasound to see Trashy Jr.  Here is what we got to see.  He is about 29 weeks at the time:

His hand is holding onto the umbillical cord.  And no, his hand is not chopped like “Thing” a la Addams Family.  It’s the angle of the ultrasound wand.  I am having a hard time grasping there is a little human living inside of me.  WEIRD.

Here is the latest picture of our little man:

Trashy Jr. at 25 wks in utero

He is quite the little mover.  There were some issues with my placenta placement in the beginning, but luckily it moved right up, and now my entire abdomen is free for him to kick, punch and kung fu to his little Bruce Lee heart out.  He particularly enjoys karate chopping me in the bladder.

I am getting pretty excited, his nursery renovations are coming along nicely.  I will try and get some pics up for that soon.

Here is a hint:

Another hint:

And here is le bebe:

And still preggo.


This Saturday is the big day!  I go for my mid-point ultrasound to make sure if everything is going well, and to find out if the baby is going to be on Team Hamburger or Team Turtle.

Based on my picture, what do you think it’s gonna be?

I can’t believe I’m at the midpoint already.  Once I know the results, I’ll post them here this weekend!

Ok Bloggies, I can come clean now.  There is some more news I have to share with you:

The little peanut is due Oct 22, 2010, just a few days after my 32nd b-day.  CRAZINESS. 

So, needless to say, due to massive barfing and zero energy, I have neither crafted or cooked anything of any substance. 


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